Nirvana, Washington, D.C.

Twas a little after 8 o'clock this evening when my good friend Joseph (a/k/a Joe-Bob) rang me on my cell to insist that I leave the office immediately and join him for dinner. So, realizing that my current project was going to take several more hours to complete, I acquiesced and shut down for the evening. We were going to meet north of the White House, since he works east of the White House and I work southwest, but it was after seven, so I had to walk the two blocks to the other end of the building and go out the C Street door, then walk up the two blocks again to get back to my end of the building, and we ended up meeting at 18th and H. We had no clue what to eat tonight and ended up walking down the K Street corridor ("downtown" is booming at lunch, but rather dead at night) until we found Nirvana, a vegetarian Indian restaurant. Neither of us previously had dined at Nirvana, but it is frequently mentioned in tour books, so we decided to try it out.

As soon as we were shown to our tables, the waiter wanted our drink orders before we were even seated. Nothing like eager service, eh? The restaurant decor was rather plain, with very little ethnic design. The tables had colorful designs under the glass tops, which might arguably have been madras designs, but that was about it. A bar was the centerpiece of the room, and it looked pretty much like any other restaurant.

I rather got a kick out of the menu. "Nirvana", of course, is the Buddhist religious philosophy wherein one attains "supreme enlightenment," and thus ends the anguish of the continuous cycle of death and rebirth. One reaches nirvana via the Eightfold Path: 1) Right Views; 2) Right Intention; 3) Right Speech; 4) Right Conduct; 5) Right Livelihood; 6) Right Effort; 7) Right Mindfulness; and 8) Right Contemplation (forgive the lecture--it's the humanities professor in me). Nirvana the restaurant's menu was divided into eight categories, all named Right Something, such as "Right Nectar" for the page of beverages and "Right Beginnings" for the appetizers. Okay, I know, kinda nerdy, but I thought it was funny nonetheless.

Anyway, before we could get through the rather lengthy all-vegetarian menu and before our drinks had arrived, another waiter was by rather insistently to take our orders, and seemed impatient that we had not yet read our menus. It was an unusual menu.....several things I'm used to eating at Indian restaurants either were not there or were named differently. Joe-Bob ended up ordering the vegetable biryani (rice with vegetables and nuts) and I ordered the palak paneer, a dish which seemed in the menu description to be very similar to the saag paneer I often order at Indian restaurants, which is a spinach dish with chunks of farmer cheese.

We ordered the mana mani for an appetizer, which turned out to be two very very long hot green peppers (the menu said banana peppers, but these were not banana peppers) which were stuffed with a legume and spice mixture, then battered and deep fried, and served with a sweet tamarind sauce. I actually liked mine, and it reminded me somewhat of Mexican chiles rellenos. We forgot to order a bread, and in retrospect, I was rather surprised the waiter didn't suggest a bread, since the traditional way of eating Indian food involves tearing off pieces of bread and using them to grasp food and convey the food to the mouth (no silverware).

The peppers were served on thin round aluminum plates. When they were cleared away, the waiter brought very large round aluminum plates for our dinner plates--no china or stoneware. The food had just arrived at the table, when the lights were turned up! Now, it was only 9 o'clock, and there were at least four other tables in the restaurant, some of which were getting food around the same time we were, so I thought the lights a rather rudely abrupt act of management, if that was the way they were encouraging people to eat faster so they could close up. Joe-Bob didn't tell me how his vegetable biryani was, but it looked a little gummy to me. My palak panner was okay, but I missed the creamy richness of my usual saag paneer. I attributed the "thinness" to the vegetarian spirit of the restaurant, though skimping on the cream seems a little odd with chunks of cheese in a dish if a place is trying to be vegan.

We ordered dessert, but the waiter came back to announce that the kitchen was closed. They didn't even offer kheer (rice pudding) which was no doubt sitting in their refrigerator or kulfi (ice cream) which was no doubt in their freezer, neither of which required any cooking or real preparation other than spooning it into a dish. At the same time we ordered dessert, Joe-Bob asked for a refill on his Sprite, but now that I think about it, it never came.

As soon as we paid the check, a waiter came and whisked it off the table instead of waiting for us to leave. I was also a bit annoyed that they charged me for a refill on my chai. Meanwhile, another waiter came by our table and two others to announce that they were closing (as if we couldn't tell). So, we left, and I noticed that one of the remaining tables with six people still had food on the table.

So much for peace and nirvana with all the rush. I also noticed a bit of discord between several of the waiters at various points in the evening, which is never good form when it breaks forth in the presence of customers. I suppose the food was okay at this restaurant, but the surly, rushed service certainly left a bad taste in my mouth, and I doubt I seek nirvana again at Nirvana.