We had high hopes for City Lights, since a 2002 Washington Post review called it the "best neighborhood Chinese restaurant" in D.C., tourbooks from Frommer's and Fodor's both recommend the place highly, and even the New York Times says it's "a consistent pick on critics' lists."
It was a beautiful day, so we walked up to Dupont about five o'clock. The restaurant has two parts, the old location, and a new dining room two doors down with a big bar and sushi bar; the new dining room wasn't open yet. We walked into the old location, which is slightly subterranean, and were immediately seated in the side dining room in a booth. Decor is very spare and simple. There were one or two Asian patrons in the dining rooms, but the rest were non-Asian (I like places which are packed with Asians—it's a testimonial to the authenticity of the food). We had a Chinese waiter, so Leo did all the ordering. They don't have a Chinese menu, so he had to order from the regular English one.
He selected several dishes for us all to share: a lamb dish, a szechuan seafood dish, some traditional noodles, and a big fried tofu dish (the tofu in honor of Will, a vegetarian). One person had a little bowl of hot and sour soup. Rice was complimentary with the meal, but my hot jasmine tea was not.
Long noodles are a Chinese New Year tradition, representing longeveity, and ours were pretty good. The lamb was a bit disappointing. The meat had been tenderized a little too long, so its consistency was a bit mushy and it was hard to tell if it was lamb or beef. The seafood had a slightly fishy taste to it, indicating to me that the scallops and shrimp had been frozen and were not fresh. The sauce on both the lamb and the seafood was sweet (that's not a good thing). The tofu came in big, thick slices which had been deep fried and by themselves tasted pretty good, but they were absolutely drowned in a way-too-sweet sauce, and quickly became soggy. We didn't finish the dish—it got to be nasty-sweet. Also, all of the dishes had been ordered "spicy," and there was very, very little heat to anything.
If City Lights of China is the best neighborhood Chinese place in town, they sure were having a brownout last night. There's a place on the other side of the circle that's just a notch above fast food that I like way better. The menu is filled with Chinese-American dishes and American-style versions of some of the simpler, more common Chinese dishes. I saw a "shark-fin soup" on the menu, but there was no way it could have been real shark-fin at the low price they were charging. They also had Peking duck on the menu and we saw a nearby table order it, but they served it chopped up like any old duck; other places make a big deal of the skin and some people eat only the skin and ignore the meat. Everything seemed aimed at an unsophisticated American clientele, which I find an odd marketing strategy in a city with a large and accessible Chinatown. The prices are reasonable but not cheap. The food quality is average, if one likes a lot of sweet sauce.
While I'd not reject dining here again, there are dozens more places in D.C. I'd rather go for Chinese than City Lights. I have the distinct impression none of the reviewers have been there in a while. I give the Washington Post and New York Times reviewers only one star.
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My Review of City Lights of China, Wash., D.C., Feb 2007
How An Awful Chinese New Year Meal Just Got Awful-Er and Awful-Er
So I took my girlfriend to City Lights of China for the Chinese New Year. I knew it wouldn't measure up to her cooking but we'd heard that this place was good. This being D.C., a town known for bad Chinese, we only hoped for decent. But we were sorely disappointed.
We began with Crunchy Squid rings ($4.95). It was to be the pinnacle of the meal. They were ring-shaped and the batter was crispy. So far, so good. Unfortunately the squid was lukewarm and rubbery. Okay. We ate most of them. This is what we expected.
Then we moved on to soup. I had the crab and asparagus ($4.95). She had the seafood and asparagus ($4.95). The difference between them? Not much. The difference between them and warm water? Not much. Apparently someone forgot the seasonings. I did find one tiny speck of crab meat in mine, though. Hurray.
Undeterred by the experience thus far -- and steeled by our low expectations -- we sallied forth to the entrees. Orange beef ($14.95) for me. Tinkling Bells Pork ($14.95) for her. The good thing about the beef was that there was a lot of it. After several dozen chomps I managed to consume one piece. This stuff had the tensile strength of well-made climber's rope. As for the orange flavor, well, it was not in evidence. There was a piece of something that, by inference, might have been an orange peel. But when I put it in my mouth it was clearly not a food product. Maybe someone used one of those fake plastic fruits by accident? As for the pork, my girlfriend took one bite -- and left it at that. It had no flavor and it seemed undercooked. Which is not just untasty but downright dangerous. I'd like to say the white rice was decent but it wasn't served hot and it had the stiff dry consistency of reheated leftovers. As my girlfriend said, "I do not think this chef is capable."
Capable? Chef? Sweetie, let's not kid ourselves. If there were a chef employed at this establishment he was off celebrating the Chinese New Year somewhere far, far away. It's possible a bus boy was left in attendance at the kitchen. But quite frankly I expect more from a bus boy than that. This meal was the awfulest I ever had. And I am not excluding those in third-world countries where rats ran under the tables in honest fear of the chef's kettle.
So when the waiter came by and asked how it was, a completely uneaten meal for two spread before him, I managed a grimace and said that we would be leaving. He brought the check, which was strangely rounded up to $52 from $51.98, and I left a generous 10% tip, which was strangely rounded down to $4.99. I left it to him to puzzle over the meaning of that.
Then my girlfriend opened her fortune cookie. And it was empty. How totally perfect! We had a good laugh about that and it almost made the whole experience worth it.
Postscript -- "Baby, You're Burning Up"
I am writing this review on "The Day After" as it will likely remain in my memory. I am now just about fully recovered. That sounds dramatic. But at approximately 3am last night I awoke to a fever of over 102 F. There is no reason whatsoever to believe that my fever had anything at all to do with our meal. But given how poorly the food was prepared I would not rule it out. I suspect we were served both undercooked food and reheated dishes. Either can can be loaded with bacteria. So my Chinese New Year's resolution now is to eat Chinese only at home. And if we eat out, we'll go to New York. Or Shanghai.
Gung Hay Fat Choy
alec_in_dc@yahoo.com
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