Thanksgiving is just a little more than a week away, and along with the fun and excitement of the family gathering and meal. But, for many people, Thanksgiving is a day which has them trembling and shaking in enormous stress. Why? They are cooking the family Thanksgiving dinner.
The vast majority of my friends share one personality trait in common: Obsessive-compulsive perfectionism. That means that for them, everything has to be "just so," and when things aren't perfect, they'll fall apart to varying degrees. So, being a veteran of designing and cooking dozens of family holiday dinners, let me offer a few of tips for your holiday sanity and success to keep you from falling apart and having to overdose on your Buspar or Ativan.
First, your family isn't going to be that critical of your results. They are just glad they they don't have to do the cooking! And, if you know that the one Asshole family member will criticize your meal, just remember that if your meal is perfect, the Asshole will find something else to criticize, so just smile, relax, and ignore the Asshole.
Second, keep the menu simple, small, and manageable. They already know you have impeccable taste, so you don't need to try to impress them with some fancy-schmancy ultra-gourmet recreation of standard Thanksgiving fare. Further, if you are like me, your stove only has four burners on top and the oven will only hold one turkey and one thin, flat casserole dish. Count!
Third, avoid food poisoning your family. Use a meat thermometer (don't have one? go buy one today) to cook your turkey to the correct 180-degree inside-thigh temperature (don't rely on those worthless little pop-up thingies) and bake your stuffing or dressing in a separate pan, not inside your turkey. Don't pre-set food on the table as it gets done, cause you want to keep hot foods hot and cold foods cold until serving time.
Fourth, NEVER NEVER NEVER cook a brand new recipe for the family dinner that you've never cooked at least once before. If you are bound and determined to cook something on the 24th which you've never cooked before, be it a brand new recipe or an old family tradition, prepare it once this week for the practice and experience.
Fifth, children will be children, and the presence of multiple children in the same room increases exponentially the liklihood that something will get broken. Keep that in mind when deciding what china and stemware to use and whether or not you have objets d'art in your home which need to be put away for the day.
Sixth, stash a bottle of your favor wine/liquor somewhere where no one can find it. This is for you and your spouse/significant other Thanksgiving night after everyone has gone home.
Follow these Six Rules, and I'm sure your family Thanksgiving dinner will be a marvelous success!
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